Our adventurers continue poking around the Abbey of Sante Wotsername. Dining hall. Kitchen. Pantry. Store room with large casks of wine. A carriage house. Important things happen.
Nabila digs through horse poop looking for diseases. And finds none.
Sindra and Jeb fuck in a carriage in front of everyone. (Apparently it was just a glorified wagon and not a carriage with doors.)
Ser Bolton freaks out at how undisciplined we are and wonders how we ever made it as far as we have.
Karishma and Ruxandra attempt to cut the rope on the bell in the belltower so no one can ring the bell and alert the baddies we’re in the abbey. Except the bell was a trap. Poor Ruxandra is killed. Ramsey is sad because Ruxandra would do ANYTHING in bed.
Nabila reincarnates Ruxandra into a male halfling lawful good cleric of Haggar. We call him Ruxpin.
During a battle with mercenaries and conjured shadow thingies, Ruxpin steals the bag of holding from Nabila, whips out the vorpal sword, and wobbily tries to kill Nabila with it. Nabila gives him the death stare, and he snuffs it. Nabila crams his head in her bag, and Ser Bolton takes the thief’s hands. (His halfling peen is the size of a Vienna Sausage.)
We meet Radvir Giovanni while we are trying to rest in the carriage house. He drinks the Bloodbrew Elixir, like vampire heroin and fights us. Vincente falls victim to Radvir’s charm and attacks Ramsey with the Godrot. Ramsey melts into a puddle of goo. Radvir mists himself away and we give chase.
At this point Nabila is beyond pissed that her potential butler died, so when we find Radvir’s coffin, she stakes his ass with the butt end of a torch covered in holy water. We pull out his heart as proof that the deed has been done, and Nabila takes his head. Then she and Sindra have a vampire anatomy lesson by dissecting Radvir’s corpse to see what it looks like inside. At some point Vincente goes upstairs to examine Ramsey’s remains and does creepy, perverted things with it. In the morning there is no goo left.
More exploring. We come across a large chamber decorated with candles and a large pentagram in the floor. A woman sits on a throne. She radiates evil. She also has fangs. She is Aisa Dublesse. She talks a load of crap, and we dispose of her. LOOT LOOT LOOT.
Whilst identifying Aisa’s loot, Sindra wild surges. Everyone in the party is suddenly dressed in Starfleet Officer uniforms. Sindra wears the captain’s yellow and gains a +1 to her CHA.
Sindra – Kirk
Nabila – Nurse Chappel
Ser Bolton – Chekhov
Karishma – Uhura
Jeb – Scotty
Ally – Sulu
Vincente – Evil Spock
2 longswords +1
2 light crossbows
18 crossbow bolts +1
one black vampire heart
9 wooden stakes
1 potion of ESP
1 potion of human control
7 doses of bloodbrew elixir
ring of protection +4
wand of dispel magic, 3 charges
1 dose of powder of the black veil