Big Betty


A group of famous bards from the obscure Highland regions of Hyspero once wrote a sonnet about a lady of the night which features the verse: “Ain’t exactly pretty, ain’t exactly small…” This line accurately describes Big Betty. And then some.

Once a crew member aboard the Gato Rojo serving under Montova the Red, the lady pirate became the sole survivor of that crew when Granick, feeling guilty about his hand in the brutal yet accidental manslaughter of two women from the Lady Lynn Rob, tackled and successfully pinned Big Betty to the ground for the duration of the battle between Montova’s crew and the Tattered Cloaks. When the fighting was over, Granick ‘delivered’ Big Betty to the sailors aboard the Lady Lynn Rob as both a prize and an apology for “depriving them of their pieces of ass”. Thus, the first gang rape of the campaign came to pass. (And frankly, given the twisted souls he is playing with, the DM is surprised it took 29 sessions to achieve this.)

However, perhaps to Granick’s chagrin, the hulking woman had developed some manner of Stockholm Syndrome. No male had ever bested her physically before. Granick was ‘The One’, the roided up half-orc of her dreams. She was granted leave by the Lady Lynn Rob’s new captain Mr. Monterray and decided to follow Granick and the Company of the Tattered Cloak.

Update, Sessions 30-38: Big Betty accompanied the party to Sri Raji. She did a lot of really stupid stuff in the temple to Kali, which culminated with her cannonballing into a pool of acid and failing a DEX check to get out. The party threw her on the Resurrection machine in the temple, which brought her back to life. Then, after a fight with several priestesses in the temple, the party threw her back on the Resurrection machine, hoping it would heal her. Unfortunately, it just turned her skin black. Not black like African American black, but, more black like the starless night.

After the party defeated Arajani, we met up with Belial, who went all, “Uncle Belial wants YOU to join the Army!” on Granick, and Granick was cool with that. As an enlistment bonus, Granick got the opportunity to sire a tiefling child with Tyranny. This upset Big Betty, who chose this opportunity to inform Granick that she was pregnant. Uncle Belial really wasn’t cool with one of his generals siring children with inferior stock, so Big Betty became the unwilling recipient of a demonic abortion and had some sort of demonic rune put on her forehead. It was probably her baby. (I’m not sure why anyone would think this. It’s just a demon brand. – DM Because stapling an aborted baby to someone’s forehead would be par the course for this campaign? – Shannon /// First of all, as much as you wish for it to be true, he didn’t physically do anything to her, it was merely a spell of infertility. Second of all, she was late/pregnant less than a week, so there wouldn’t be much of anything to staple to one’s forehead. And finally, I really worry about you sometimes. – DM I’m flattered that I a) disturb you and b) you worry. – Shannon)

The party was then sent back to the Prime Material Plane and were abducted by the Big Bad Good guys, who threw the party in the bowels of Harrowstone prison. The jailors took pity on the rest of the party and threw a whining, crying, vengeful Big Betty into a pit. Sindra then Wild Surged the party forward one year (oops), bringing Big Betty with us. However, given her anger towards Granick, the party decided it was best to send Granick down into the pit to “fix” his problem.

Big Betty started shooting her mouth off again, (rightfully) calling Granick a meanie head. When asked if there was anything else Big Betty wanted to get off her chest, she replied that “Granick has a really tiny ding dong.” Granick climbed down into the pit and meleed her to death, ending with Granick busting Big Betty’s head open on the ground, much like an over ripe watermelon. The party poured some lamp oil into the pit and Sindra Fireballed Big Betty’s corpse. She won’t come back from the dead or anything. Ut-uh. Not at all.

Big Betty

Return of the Tyrant Number_Six